I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
