I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
