I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize