'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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