Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
