So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
