Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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