Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
PANTIES FOUND
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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