You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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