did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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