I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
