It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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