Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize