it was like eating out sand paper
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
