True but thats because hes a fetus.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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