i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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