he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
