Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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