Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
