Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I intend to get homeless drunk
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Congratulations! We have a period
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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