she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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