Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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