Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
