i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you never un-have a 4some
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
