I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he thought i was a dude.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
