Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
