awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
