At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
