I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
