I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
