My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
