sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
