Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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