There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
