Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
