She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
