when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
