your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
