I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
