Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
