you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
