singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
