i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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