remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
