i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
