I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
50% drunk capacity currently
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
