belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
