It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
