bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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