I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
