Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
