am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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