this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
