please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Shame is for Republicans.
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