Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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