I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
