My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
