My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
