as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My ass is underappreciated
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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