It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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