I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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