I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
