I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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