You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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