You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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