so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize