You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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