epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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