I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize